So in jrhigh we're doing a series on the armor of God and I was asked to teach on the sandals of peace. I had just come back from vacation and was a little "out of it". I hadn't seen the kids in three weeks and I had no idea what was going on in jrhigh. Now I have to teach. All week I prepared and I was ready. I had been going through some things and I was praying that God's spirit would be merciful to the kids because this broken vessel He was about to use, was.... hurting.
The morning was a little hectic and right before class started I remembered the words to a song that I thought would be appropriate. I went to look up the song and instead found Isaiah 52v7. So I opened the lesson with that and that was the first and last time I looked at the notes that I so beautifully prepared. God had other plans and He was merciful. Not only to the jrhighers but to me.
As I prayed, the only "plan" I had was to tell them to take the shoes off their feet and surrender it to the altar. I didn't doubt. I knew God would do it. Those kids are so very hungry for God. I was more afraid that they'd walk out and it wouldn't stick. So, here I was, telling 50-60 jrhighers to surrender their shoes to the altar of God and how they represent doing things their way and walking where they want to walk. Then the first person responded, then another and another and I started to cry. I realised that the God that I serve is so powerful. I had 2 pages worth of notes.... none of which I used.
I found myself giving an altar call that said, "It's great you surrendered your shoes but now God needs willing bodies to fill them. The shoes can't walk to your family and preach the Gospel on their own, they can't share the love of Jesus with your friends. God's asking now that you surrender your will and your way and trust Him". Where'd that come from??? I was blown away at how when I'm broken, I'm open and I'm saying "yes Lord" how faithful He is.
At the end, the kids responded and yes, while that was great and I watched God move two things stuck with me:
1. The leader of jrhigh said: whatever it was that took you to that place, stay there. Praise God that was an amazing message and the spirit of God was moving.
2. One of the kids said to me: thank you for sharing about your mom... and for crying. it showed that you're open and vulnerable and that encouraged me so much.
I don't know why God would choose to use me but one of the leaders in high school heard about the lesson and said to me "if you ever doubted that you were supposed to be in jrhigh, there's your proof that you're right where you need to be"
I'm never going to forget this lesson. I've taught a lot in jrhigh and there's a lot of memorable lessons. I have all the notes but this is one that when I was at my lowest, at my weakest, probably even at my worse that God choose to do something sooooo amazing!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Keep Moving Forward
So for some reason I've been finding myself in leadership positions lately. It's almost like people seek me out...almost. I find that some one would ask me to do something and somehow I'll end up leading the group. I don't seek it out, in fact, I try very, very hard to stand in the background. I don't like being the center of attentions. It makes me uncomfortable. However, that seemed to recently work against me.
It's wierd how two people can look at the same situation and see completely different things. I had someone tell me, for the first time ever in my entire life, that I don't know how to be under authority and I like to be always in control.
I will admit, when I do know what I'm doing with certain things, not that I voice that I'm the authority on it, I do give my input more often than not. At the same time I do allow others to share their thoughts/opinions. I know I don't know everything but when I heard this it made me think. I questioned the things that I do and why I do them. In actuality, I should be...forced (maybe not the best word) to speak up because I choose to be in the background mostly because I'm not confident. That's a different story in itself but, when did it become so bad to step up as a leader when no one else wants to?
It has been the most difficult week of my life. It's Friday and I'm still doubtful. I've had a very difficult time praying and entering in to the presence of God because all I kept hearing was this negative stuff. I laid it aside and trusted God. It's a little hard because this is the first time anyone has ever told me that I have issues with authority. I've been working with people (authority) since I was 15; working under leadership. What makes it so difficult is 1) the person who said it to me has had issues with me forever 2) if it's true, why has no one ever told me?? 3) if it isn't true, why would this person say that?
I'm trying hard not to run and hide, which is the easiest thing for me to do. I don't really want to stay "here" but it's so hard for me to keep moving forward. So...I will lift up my eyes and be still...
It's wierd how two people can look at the same situation and see completely different things. I had someone tell me, for the first time ever in my entire life, that I don't know how to be under authority and I like to be always in control.
I will admit, when I do know what I'm doing with certain things, not that I voice that I'm the authority on it, I do give my input more often than not. At the same time I do allow others to share their thoughts/opinions. I know I don't know everything but when I heard this it made me think. I questioned the things that I do and why I do them. In actuality, I should be...forced (maybe not the best word) to speak up because I choose to be in the background mostly because I'm not confident. That's a different story in itself but, when did it become so bad to step up as a leader when no one else wants to?
It has been the most difficult week of my life. It's Friday and I'm still doubtful. I've had a very difficult time praying and entering in to the presence of God because all I kept hearing was this negative stuff. I laid it aside and trusted God. It's a little hard because this is the first time anyone has ever told me that I have issues with authority. I've been working with people (authority) since I was 15; working under leadership. What makes it so difficult is 1) the person who said it to me has had issues with me forever 2) if it's true, why has no one ever told me?? 3) if it isn't true, why would this person say that?
I'm trying hard not to run and hide, which is the easiest thing for me to do. I don't really want to stay "here" but it's so hard for me to keep moving forward. So...I will lift up my eyes and be still...
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Knowing
So I went to see the movie "Knowing" with Nicholas Cage. I was a little apprehensive to see it because I wasn't sure if the movie was "appropriate". However, I did see it because I needed to release some anxiety. I was pleasantly surprised and I liked it very much. I should say, if you want to see the movie, you probably shouldn't read on. So here goes...
The movie opens with this little girl and this whispering noise and at some point she writes these whole bunch of numbers on a paper to put into a time capsule. Fast forward 50 years, the capsule is opened and Cage's son is the one to receive the letter of numbers by this girl. He starts to hear this whispering noise. Long story short, Cage some how becomes intrigued by the numbers and finds out that they were predictions of disasters that have happened over the past 50 years. The movie sort of surrounds the last two predictions.
What I found interesting in this movie is that these "whispering people" seem not threatening, only talks to the children and at one point, in the midst of darkness, light won out. As the movie is coming to a close, I couldn't help but think about Christ. Here are these "predictions" found in the Bible and Jesus telling everyone to get ready. Long and short, the story finishes and the whispering people (angels) come to take the children. Cage's character wants to go with his son and this little girl but it's not allowed. He's confused and the little boy says "only those who have heard the call can go" Instantly I thought of Christ calling His people and then the scripture that says "not everyone that cries Lord Lord will enter heaven". So the children leave to "start over" and Cage goes back to see his dad, a preacher. I thought of the prodigal son returning home. The whole earth is destroyed and then the children are returned to "a new heaven and a new earth".
I know the producers/writers/directors did not have any intention of writing about the rapture and the end of the world and Christ. I'm not a big movie fan. I mean I love movie lines, but I don't go to the movies very often. I think in the last 3 years I've gone to the movies maybe 5 times, if that much. However, everytime I do see a movie, well lately, I see references to Christ. How is it that subconciously our spirits, minds are desiring a Saviour but in the waking moments we choose to go the opposite direction.
With all these movies, good and bad, there is a reference to heaven and hell, how people not want to choose? how can people deny the existence of a supreme God? I suppose that one day, they'll realize but why wait until it's too late? I just thought that movie was...it was a very good movie to see and I just wanted to share that with you :)
The movie opens with this little girl and this whispering noise and at some point she writes these whole bunch of numbers on a paper to put into a time capsule. Fast forward 50 years, the capsule is opened and Cage's son is the one to receive the letter of numbers by this girl. He starts to hear this whispering noise. Long story short, Cage some how becomes intrigued by the numbers and finds out that they were predictions of disasters that have happened over the past 50 years. The movie sort of surrounds the last two predictions.
What I found interesting in this movie is that these "whispering people" seem not threatening, only talks to the children and at one point, in the midst of darkness, light won out. As the movie is coming to a close, I couldn't help but think about Christ. Here are these "predictions" found in the Bible and Jesus telling everyone to get ready. Long and short, the story finishes and the whispering people (angels) come to take the children. Cage's character wants to go with his son and this little girl but it's not allowed. He's confused and the little boy says "only those who have heard the call can go" Instantly I thought of Christ calling His people and then the scripture that says "not everyone that cries Lord Lord will enter heaven". So the children leave to "start over" and Cage goes back to see his dad, a preacher. I thought of the prodigal son returning home. The whole earth is destroyed and then the children are returned to "a new heaven and a new earth".
I know the producers/writers/directors did not have any intention of writing about the rapture and the end of the world and Christ. I'm not a big movie fan. I mean I love movie lines, but I don't go to the movies very often. I think in the last 3 years I've gone to the movies maybe 5 times, if that much. However, everytime I do see a movie, well lately, I see references to Christ. How is it that subconciously our spirits, minds are desiring a Saviour but in the waking moments we choose to go the opposite direction.
With all these movies, good and bad, there is a reference to heaven and hell, how people not want to choose? how can people deny the existence of a supreme God? I suppose that one day, they'll realize but why wait until it's too late? I just thought that movie was...it was a very good movie to see and I just wanted to share that with you :)
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