Fear.....

It sure is quite crippling , paralyzing even. It is most definitely the opposite of faith. Faith tells me to take a step, fear worries where that step will be and why. Faith tells me to trust, feat can see only the bad behind that blind trust. Faith brings me peace, fear confuses and worries. I am in that season of fear. The one that has me questioning every decision, second guessing myself, worrying to no avail and stressing me out to no end.i keep telling myself "trust God" but my actions don't. When did that happen? I think it was sometime around my birthday, sometime around realizing a new decade was before me and I still was not where I wanted to be. I woke up that morning and realized I was older. It wasn't the "I'm 18!!!!" Older not the "whoo hoo 21" older. Not even the "oh no! I'm 30" older. There was an excitement laced with dread. Suddenly things that I barely gave a thought to was right before me. The fact that I'm older and not married, no children was at the forefront. Then I thought of what I was doing with my life....stuff..just being busy. It was a sad revelation. I keep trying to claw my way to the top, to stop feeling so overwhelmed by my life, stop drowning in this sea of fear. So far fear is winning