People you meet

I've learned a very important lesson over my very short lived lifetime - be kind to the people you meet because you never know when you'll meet them again. I've met some very interesting people over my lifetime that have left impressions on my life.

It is sad to say that some of them have a bad impression because of their behavior, attitude or pure selfishness but it goes without saying that I learned from those poeple as well.

I met this guy yesterday...well I didn't actually meet him but I saw him in passing on Friday, then again on Sunday afternoon and later that day on the train. It's amazing how you never notice certain things or people until you see them constantly even if you don't know them. I didn't say anything to him, it would've been wierd but it sure made me think.

When people see us from a distance, who do they see? Is it someone that they are willing to meet or would rather stay away from? Everyone says first impressions make a big difference and it's true but it's not about what you say when you actually meet the person but rather what you did before you met them.

So the people you actually end up meeting with a handshake are the people you first met with a smile :)

Mountain top climb

So the new year has begun with a bang. A good bang. I graduated officially and I'm realizing that there's nothing that's going to stop me from running toward the promises of God; the things that I'm supposed to be doing for Him. It's amazing that there are times when things seem so impossible, so unlikely and there is no way that you can grasp it. Now, here I am and those same things haven't changed but my view has.

Looking from a distance up at that mountain and realizing how big it is and how far I'm going to have to climb is...well discouraging. Then just by simply beginning to climb the mountain and then glancing down, I realize how far I've climbed. Maybe it's not so impossible (or discouraging) after all. Have I slipped? Sure. Have I been afraid to be "this high up"? Of course but I've loved every minute of it. The air is cleaner up here, I'm getting exercise and the view is so amazingly, breathtakingly beautiful!

So I liken my life to a mountain climb but I'm always striving to go up. It's not necessarily a "bettering of myself" but moving towards what God has called me to do and who He's called me to be. It's not the easiest climb but I'm almost positive that when I reach the top of this mountain that it would've been all worth it. To stand and look out at the view; to know I never gave up. It's going to be an exciting year. For now, I'm just busy climbing this one mountain until I reach the top and cross over a connecting bridge to descend back down. That will be the hardest part because in the valley, it's dark and you never really see what awaits you but rocks and rough edges but well, sometimes you find a few lilies...

That's probably when you start your mountain top climb again.

Year End

So this year has been so rough for me. I feel as if I've seen more valleys than I've seen mountain tops YET, I am so very grateful for every valley I've seen. At the beginning of the semester last year God gave me one promise concerning school - you will never be put to shame. I've held on to that promise like you wouldn't believe. I'd already failed a class and it was such a struggle to go back. I felt as if I were to go back I would have to hang my head in shame. Last year over the summer, God told me to lift up my head.

Here I was at the beginning of 2008 and that was the only thing God spoke to me. I made it my foundation to stand on, well as far as school went. So I made it through the semester and then September came. I was fine until I went away on a retreat. It was so amazing. God could not have orchestrated it any better. I came back with such a passion and a fire for God. It was amazing. Almost two weeks later, this unbelieveable fear gripped me. It was unlike anything I've ever known in my walk with God. It was so paralyzing. All I could hear was "you're not going to graduate. You're going to fail again. What will everyone say? You're a failure" It was so overwhelming that I actually began to put myself in danger of failing. This fear was affecting my school work, my clinical performance, exams...me. God never said that I was going to fail but yet here I was failing because of what I did, not what God did.

My worship began to suffer. I sat in service for about two fridays and two Sundays and couldn't enter in to the presence of God. I was becoming more and more fearful and more and more in bondage because of this fear. My quiet time with God was just that - quiet. I couldn't even pray. Then one day I'm sitting in my room, TV on mute, computer on and just sitting. I began to feel as if I was suffocating. This fear was beginning to suck the life out of me. For some reason, and I can't explain why, I lifted my hands and just cried. It was almost as if every tear carried with it the fear that so gripped my heart and with each tear came a freedom like I've never known.

So at the end of the night, all I could do was rejoice and claim the word that God had given to me; to declare it! At the end of 2008 I am beginning to see promises that God made to me when I was 14 years old come to fullness. Things that God said I would be doing are beginning to happen and I'm excited to enter 2009. It is truly going to be the year of the miraculous. I guess I would be remissed if I didn't mention that I am graduating in about three weeks with grades that only could've been by the grace and mercy of God! See you in 2009